Now, after we’ve followed the insane action between Isildur1 and Tom “durrrr” Dwan, it’s time to expose how Isildur1 managed to make his way from a total nobody into one of the greatest online players. We found this article on the internet so the following text is purely fictional, thus we do not take any responsibility of it. And yes, we have the permission to use it and we wish to thank the writer from it.
Ice cold facts:
Isildur1 is still a mystery, he seemed to pop out from total emptiness
He is willing to challenge the world’s best players
He insists to play only against Tom Dwan
He demands at least six $500/1000 tables to be played simultaneously
Plays insanely long sessions
Wants to continue after a really short break
There’s really only two choices: 1) he is some total mental case, or he is a super talented genius; 2) Swedish top pros have set up a cunning plan.
Choice 2, or How to Beat durrrr – Part 1, Target Acquired; Lock & Load
One has to choose a subject who will not give up easily, Dwan fits the profile excellently. He doesn’t get scared after losing big time and is willing to continue even while losing – also a huge bankroll won’t do any harm.
Then one has to gather up a team of best players in their country – few mathematicians can’t be bad either. Data mine all the hands the subject has played during the past years and begin to analyze. One needs to dig deeper than just looking at the hands with what Dwan uses to raise. One has to go deep down straight into the subject’s mind, one has to look for patterns about how Dwan’s playstyle and strategies have changed. Go through every hand and analyze them all. Search for certain betting patterns. One has to analyze so far, that one can find the smallest holes and behaviour patterns in his play, thus finding an edge against the subject.
After going through the hands one has to create tens and hundreds of different approaches, strategies and tactics to counter Dwan. One has to build up an analytic and mathematical approach to Dwan’s play. Build a model which will give the edge against every hand Dwan plays.
This phase will take months to complete.
How to beat durrrr – Part 2, Operation Milk the Cow ’til it Bleeds
One has to gather up the top players and then demand their money to create a collective bankroll. Then the group rents an apartment to where they will build their headquarters. Create a new account to Full Tilt Poker and challenge the subject. Demand at least six tables to be played.
While one lures Dwan into the trap, 4-6 other players will make the calls by looking at the data they analyzed earlier. Each one of the group can monitor 1-2 tables, all of the though situations, Dwan’s overall mood and playstyle must be decided collectively. After the read is made, commence the exhausting grind.
The team gains edge over Dwan by knowing Dwan’s every move. The team has multiple minds over the subject’s mind. Because Dwan has to play multiple tables simultaneously, one must now take the advantage. Team’s chosen players must make hasty plays, thus creating pressure unto Dwan. Thus begins the critical part; the team must lure Dwan to play too long sessions, that the subject will be too exhausted to play his best game. Tired player makes more mistakes; the more mistakes the subject makes, the more the team profits. By having a large team, there will be no tired team players.
The subject will be heated up, tired up and by doing the background work, one knows that the subject will not give up. Now the team must pump out every cent Dwan has before he realizes what hit him.
Proceed to the next victim. Rinse & repeat.
Original story can be found in Finnish at Pokerista.fi